I wonder sometimes...We grow up with the morals that our parents fill us up with and we either add on to those to create standards for ourselves and we learn how to conduct ourselves in public and in other encounters. But have you ever considered that what your parents taught you might be wrong? Seriously...as in much high regard as we would like to hold mom and pop, we all know they weren't perfect individuals. Consider this example: A single mother has several failed relationships with men and ends up her telling her daughter, "Men ain't sh*t. All they want is sex and don't care about your feelings. None of your aunts are married and yo no good daddy ain't no where to be found!" Now the daughter takes in the info, and is extra cautious about all her encounters with men and ends up insecure thiking every man has the opportunity to hurt her and will do it if given the chance. When ask why she's like this she gonna sing that Juvenile song talking 'bout, "She Get it From Her Mama". I know my mother had affected my judgement for a while. When I was really little, about 4 or 5, she'd skip past football games saying, "Ooh, I know they hurt themselves doing that!" For a while there, that had me scared to play football. I mean I played tackle every now-n-then around the neighborhood but for me to sign up for the lil pee-wee league? That wasn't happening until I thought about it when I turned 13. I ain't no punk now though...gimme some pads and we can goto work. I got insurance and everything! But seriously, I know some women have taught their daughters what to expect and not to expect from men. Probably telling them that men should have to chase in order to show interest, that men should always pay the bill, or whateva other silly things they claim. I'm not here to dispute this stuff (no matter how much I diagree) but just to show how they can influence you and it might not be all the way good.On the flip side, the question of personal accountability does come into play. At some point where do you think for yourself and decide to live through your own experiences? Not necessarily go against what you'e been taught, it's just a matter of you expressing your free will that you've been given. If your parents taught you something inproper in the past like smoking cigarettes, you have the free will to decide if you want to start spending your loot on cartons of Newports or not smoke at all despite the constant reminder of your parents blazing up We can't live in the past so at some point we have to let go of the fact and not toss the blame back at our parents for how we turned out. Here's an example. Michael Jackson.... His daddy Joe Jackson put him through a few stuff. Not letting him play, limiting his time from girls, and even whoopin that booty. Michael blames his dady for everything. He says he's still looking for his childhood. Dude went and got cosmetic surgery so he wouldn;t look like his daddy. Now he had some other brothers and sisters...why didn't they turn out the ame way? They must've gotten over it! Now I'm not saying the it wasn't severe, I'm merely pointing out the fact that he, or anyone else facing any issue, will never improve or learn from the lessons of the past if they keep blaming everyone but themself.

Finally, an off day from work! It comes every week but it's so appreciated! Today, I decided to go see a ophtomalogist per my optometrist advice ast week. Seems a if I'm at risk for glaucoma because of an irregualrity. No need to be alarmed...I'm just suspect or it, probably will never get it. But afterwards I went to the clinic to get a physical and just as suspected...It's all good! Then I went to work out and I am spent! I'm gonna be sore in the morning! But as I was driving, I started thinking about something. Alot of issues that my ex-girlfriend and I had were comunications problems. As for me, I know I've always feeled compelled to find the reason behind stuff. Like why people acted certain ways or what was someone's thought-process behind their stupid actions. I felt that they was a reason for EVERYTHING and in orderr for me to not view someone as stupid, I always gave people the chance to explain "Why?". And as I comfortably sat in safety of my own vehicle, with my back pressed back against my cloth bucket seat. I realized something. I spent alot of time trying to figure out the reason behind stuff and to be honest, I haven't gotten to far. if I were to just say, "You know what , I'd feel a whole lot better not racking my brain trying to figure out why." n that was it! I figured it all out! Half the crap I was looking for wasn't even worth the time cuz I guess I wanted people to realize they they might be wrong and to consider changing their behavior in the future. It was mostly girls too. And flat out..Girls are wierd. Yeah I said it! They do a bunch of sh*t for reasons they can't fully explain however it makes complete sense to them and all their female friends. I'd have to devote my life to pyschology if I tried to figure out girls. So I just let it all go... maybe I'd still have a g/f if I'd figured that out a while back . I'd still have someone to be affectionate towards I'm starting to learn more and more about how to simplify my ife as I get older. I'm taking better care of my body, learning how to be a better person, and preparing myself for a new lif once I find myself a better paying job. I'm destined for big thangs, you should come for the ride....

Didja miss me? Probably not, but it's cool. I really don't like to dwell on this too much but dangit.....GAS!!!! Man folks couldn't find any this weekend! My co-manager at work claimed she ran out of gas and one of my part-time workers had to call out because she said all the folks going to the Georgia Bulldogs game had came through and consumed all the gas. That wasn't hard to believe...Speaking of the Bulldogs , Alabama came through and whooped that tail. This was Georgia's opportunity to be ranked #1 and they blew it big time! I'm sure the fans were DISAPPOINTED! See the thing I don't understand is that you can actually find a true Georgia Bulldog fan before you find an "down for the cause" Atlanta Falcon fan. I can't understand why. I never followed college sports too much because just as you get a grasp of the strengths, weaknesses, and players on the team, the whole team changes. Some players get hurt, and new batch of freshmen come in every year, and hopefully the seniors graduate or goto the league. That's just too much sh*t to keep up with every year. Falcon players get contracts and that's good enough for me. But back to the fans.....the fans seem to thrive in rural areas and they love themselves some college football. I was this bar/tavern one weekend and the Bulldogs had won a game and these white folks were barking at each other. *Woof Woof Woof* Sounding like some the 69 Boyz or some sh*t. Those Bulldog fans are crazy and same thing probably goes for every other state university. I just can't get into it. Maybe that's a good thing.

Have you all heard that new Jazmine Sullivan cd? I believe Missy Elliott discovered her. Anyhow, a close friend of mine told me to listen to her cd. I downloaded it and the first track I hear is a song called "Bust Your Windows". I'm was a bit uneasy about the title but I figured it had some methaphorical meaning behind it so I give it ahead.So I'm listening to the first few seconds and the beat ain't bad. I alost wanted to dance How bout this b*tch actually talking bout busting out some car windows? Now to those who know me, I'm a pretty calm, laidback dude...but I seriously think all hell would break loose if someone were to key my car or bust out my windows. The right thing to do is to call the police but i can't say I'll be thinking straight enough to remember. Unfortunately, I'm a guy who takes revenge. I really shouldn't but I take it TOO personal when others take advantage of me. I'd probably super glue one of those little green army men to the hood of her car. Well...probably not. One stupid action shouldn't be followed by another one. But still...how can Ms. Sullivan make a song like that? Talking about, "You'll probably say it's juvenile, but I think I deserve to smile". B*tch, Comedy Central is on 24 hours a day. Leave my car out of this. Young Ladies...please think of a better way to solve your conflicts. I'd hate for things to ever get domestic . Last thing, I'm working on my "Hood License" for Massage Therapy. I just need some folks round the hood to call me certified fo' dat @$$! I'll make your bad day just melt away . Holla at me

~Killa Cory is out~

Hey folks. Tell me this. Have you been driving around and notice you need some gas and try driving to the gas station but notice, no one has has gas? That crap happened today in the ATL!!! I just so happened to have rode the bus to work today and on the way back....the gas station was empty. Nothin but plastic bags all ova the pumps. So I went home and went on a quest for gas, it took a minute but whe I found a spot, talk about happy! Folks have always wondered what life would be life if we ran out of gas for a day. Imagine this though: People stranded at work, no one cutting grass, McDonalds is crowded inside because no one wants to go through the drive thru, Folks actually going the speed limit . That's going to be crazy! Anyway, for the time being, there's going to be alot of me staying in the house. I'm cleaning my room, exercising here, playin my Wii, hell even if I want to sip on a lil something..I got an emergency bottle or two round the crib. And for everything else that needs to be done, I've always got I guess I have no choice but to get in shape. Seems as if I'm going to have to rely on my legs to get small errands done. Over the summer I went to the barbershop on a bike. Now keep in mind I have a REAL BIKE. One of those joints that cost a couple hundred bucks fully equipped with disc brakes, shocks, and gears. Upon arriving, I took the bike inside and took the wheel off. All these guys started saying, "Ooh sh*t, that's one dem real bikes ain't it? How much that cost? $700...shiiiiiit, I can buy a car for that much" keep in mind it was some fat nigga sayin all this You can tell he's been voiding bikes for quite sometime now. Anyway, me and that bike were like the talk of the barbershop while I was there You know whie starting up lil msall time conversations with some of my customers, I notice alot of mothers are just trying to worry about taking care of their kids and not date right now. Alot claim some crap about drama Unfortunately, it seems as if poblems surround more black people than their caucasin counterparts. They see to be maried quite often. I can hardly even attempt to holla at white girl cuz she most of the time they married......or fat . But that just makes me think about things. Honestly, for the VERY first time, I think I rather be in a relationship. The feeling of knowing someone has your back is such a comforting feeling that I havent experienced in a while. Plus the opportunity to share experiences and feelings ain't bad either. I dunno, it's like people with priorites have issues and folks with nothing but time and opportunity gotta take a good look at what's out there. Ah well, I'm not going out there looking or love. In order to catch me, you gotta show me something different about you. Show me what you got... oh yeah

Guess who's back? After nearly a 2 year hiatus I'm back on Xanga. Here's a lil update on me since my last entry, I some how lost my girlfriend, graduated college and I'm working as a manager of a kids shoe store. Congrats, you're all caught up! During my idle time at work, my mind has been consumed with a barrage of different thing. First off, I'm taking the time to better myself physically, mentally, and emotional. I'm working out more , I'm reading as many self-help books as I can, and I'm trying to work on my relationships with people in an efffort to make them feel good. Hey, you gotta enjoy life! Speaking of enjoying lives, people usually take material items as a measure of how successful and how much enjoyment you can have out of life. The rapper T.I has a song out called "Whatever You Like" where he raps about buying girls all kinds of stuff and I got to thinking, "Has there ever been a song out where a girl says that she'll buy a dude anything? Is she going to take him to get his haircut, buy him Jordans, or betta yet, get Madden for him? Hell no..." What's the deal ladies? I mean it's plenty of females with bread these days, how come not too many are spending it on guys? I suppose you have to get in a relationship with a girl before she breaks you off with a few gifts. Who knows...

Hey folks..Look I know Wendy's took away one nugget from there 5-piece nugget and now it's a 4 piece. I know the housing market sucks. I know folks got kids cuz folks can't seem to wear a rubber and with unemployment rate so high, it's not helping their situation at all. I know gas is SUPER HIGH! But listen.....it's folks still making money. It's people who have money to pay for gas despite the inflated prices. It has something to do with their positive thinking. trust me, I'm over here slanging shoes for a living like I'm Al Bundy or some sh*t Once I finish this book I just bought I'll explain it a bunch more. Until then...be easy!!!